Buying a House in France ... For A Pittance

A few years ago, I sat next to a lovely woman on the Eurostar from Paris to London. She was Scottish but worked as a French/English translator in Paris. We were the same age and had shared similar lives. I liked her immediately. I liked her even more when she told me where she lived. She and her French husband had just purchased a castle in Normandy, she said. They'd bought it three months before, for the same price as their two-bedroom apartment in the Bastille area of Paris. She was still incredulous. "May I ask how much?" I politely enquired. €300,000, she replied, still delighted by the price. Then she told me the extras. A carriage house, a gate house, a grand estate of 10 acres, stables, a parterre garden and river frontage too. Okay, so it was a little run-down, but they'd bought a hammer and drill too. All this for the equivalent of $380,000 Australian dollars. You can't buy a smart apartment in Melbourne for $380,000, let alone a chateau with a charming carriage house.

As the train rumbled along, I thought of the A$400,000 I'd sold my one-bedroom apartment in South Yarra for the year before. I thought of the building, and how a prostitute had moved in next door. And then I thought of the chateau, with the gatehouse and estate. Thinking of these stark difference in property prices between France and Australia made me sick for the rest of the trip.

I would have forgotten this amazing story but for a couple we met the other day. They own a store in High Street, Glen Iris. My partner and I were window-shopping for an investment property in the area when I noticed they'd arranged their window display around one of my French books. So I thought I'd pop in to thank them and say hello. We chatted for almost half an hour. They revealed they were only doing "the retail thing" for another year, and then they were off to France to buy a little chateau. "You can pick them up for a pittance!" said the gentleman. The sentence was starting to have a familiar ring.

I'm not going to tell you the conversation my partner and I had in the car on the way home, but I think it had the word 'pittance' in it about ten times. And there were exclamation marks too. Lots of them. "French chateau' and "pittance" in the same sentence has a lovely ring to it, don't you think?

Intrigued, I trawled the Internet tonight, looking for chateaux of my own. I have a little money. I thought I'd see what I could buy.  This is what I found. I tell you, it was lust at first shutter. Even if it's derelict, it still beats a call girl yelling out her clients' names at half-hourly intervals right next door.

Now my partner's already set his heart on relocating elsewhere. He hadn't thought of France as a potential home.  He doesn't even like wine. So it might be an uphill climb to get him to reconsider a little chateau. But looking at these makes me wonder if we're looking for property in all the wrong places?


(PS The manor above, which is also described / pictured below, has had a price reduction from 492,900 Euros to 430,000 Euros. Bargain, I say.)

MANOIR / MINI CHATEAU, NORMANDY

Manor house / mini chateau set in mature grounds, also suitable for business such as a boutique hotel. 5 bedrooms, 8 acres of land, views over the valley, landscaped gardens, bluebell wood, stables, heated swimming pool. Price reduction from €492,900 to €430,000 (Euros). (A$547,000)

HISTORIC PRIORY, NORMANDY

Historic 18th century priory set in its own 8,000m2 (2 acres) park in a small village. 8 bedrooms, each with ensuite, large kitchen, scullery and landry room, and 2 salons with views over the garden. Also comes with attractive outbuildings, including stone built barns, two of which have recently been re-roofed, which could provide further development potential. €655,500 Euros / $A830,000.

HISTORIC PRIORY #2, NORMANDY

Historic 18th Century Priory, built on the site of a 14th-century monastery, located on an elevated position overlooking its outbuildings, houses and land. Also comes with a 3 bedroom detached house, formal gardens, and agricultural land, which is rented to a local farmer. €659,000.

And a few more, all of them within "a pittance" budget. I like the middle one. But I'd be happy with the last one too.

What You Can Buy On A Budget Of $650,000...

We have been looking for property. It's a dispiriting thing to do. We thought we had a reasonable budget to spend – around $650,000 or so. (Equivalent to US$650,000) Turns out, $650,000 won't get us much at all. Not in Melbourne.




This is what I have found for $650,000 in the inner suburbs of Melbourne. 

Is there even glass in those windows? Look at that poor plant in the front. Applaudable attempt at gardening there. The curious thing is, someone clever will buy this, fix it up and probably make a profit. But not us. 

Or this one...

It DOES have a little awning... Clap of hands at the decorating effort there. Not sure about all those security grills though. Does this mean the street is... a little dubious? Collingwood IS being hailed as a "hot new area". Could be a good buy? But I just can't get past those security grills... Could someone please straighten that awning on the way out too?

Or this one...

THIS house seems so badly in need of some reno love that the agent has forbidden people to enter. 

Yes, that's right. For $650,000 you can buy a house YOU CAN'T EVEN ENTER! Here's the property copy.

Forthcoming Auction - Land Value Only

Currently uninhabitable four room Victorian semi-detached residence offering huge potential within walking distance of tram, train shops and cafes. Comprises: entry hall, two bedrooms, lounge/dining, kitchen and bathroom. Land 6.5m x 30.3m approx (196sqm approx) with the bonus of rear access via right-of-way. External viewing only.NOTE inspections – the home is in extremely poor order DO NOT ENTER THE PROPERTY!

Now we could have taken our $650,000 and bought...

 This little cutie in our own village. It sold for around $500,000. Which seems cheap, but it was a decent price considering  it was fairly diminutive.

OR we could head overseas – to this. A glam little pad in West Palm Beach Florida. With this, we could have have $150,000 CHANGE left over! For a boat. Or a Mercedes convertible. Or our retirement. We certainly wouldn't need to spend it on the garden.

Or this grand brick residence, in the gracious city of Atlanta, Georgia, for $500,000...

And then there's this lovely home, in Boston, for $499,000... No security grills on the window there.

Floor Plan Porn

Forgive me for the slightly saucy post title. I copied it from one of my favourite property sites in the world – Curbed. If you're a property follower, as I am, then you'll love Curbed. It features insider news, insights and sale prices on real estate in New York, the Hamptons, LA and many other US cities, although I wish it would extend to Paris, London and Sydney too. It also has lots of celebrity real estate but one of its best sections is the Floor Plan Porn one. {ny.curbed.com/archives/ categories/floorplan_porn.php?page=2} I don't know what it is about floor plans, but I find them fascinating. As Gerald Makowski, director of marketing at Halstead Property quipped: “When you look at a floor plan, it is the apartment standing there naked.” Curbed features some of the best floor plans in New York, allowing you an up-close-and-personal glimpse into the closets, libraries and rooftop terraces of the rich, famous and cashed-up penthouse class. Such as this one, at 834 Fifth Avenue, New York...

 Just in case you hadn't noticed, this grand, three-bedroom penthouse has extensive staff quarters – seven staff bedrooms, to be exact, plus three staff bathrooms and a sitting room with its own kitchenette.
It also features:
– a 38-foot long panelled living room with wood burning fireplace and views over Central Park.
– a sweeping curved staircase that leads to a ballroom-scaled upper landing, which opens to three grand bedrooms.
– an enormous master suite with fireplace, boudoir, custom-fitted dressing room amd two additional walk-in closets, plus a large bathroom.

– a sizable service wing that contains a large walk-in china storage closet (very important), a fully-equipped kitchen-sized pantry, and separate breakfast room.

It's on the market for a nest $27,500,000. Of course, you may want to bargain the price down so you have some money left for the maids and the butlers you'll want to hire.

Or there's this residence:

A New York triplex penthouse on Park Avenue with an octagonal tower and some pretty impressive terraces on two levels.

And then there is this, a duplex at 123 West 15th Street, New York. This floor plan makes me rather nauseous, though.  It's like being in a submarine.

I also came across this at another site: Rupert Murdoch's Manhattan penthouse at 834 5th Avenue, which he purchased for $44M from the estate of Laurance and Mary Rockefeller. The triplex penthouse extends from the 14th to the 16th floors. This is one of them (above). The proportions of the rooms speak for themselves.

But by far my favourite floor plans are those of the great chateau of Versailles (above), and its smaller, chic little sister, the Petit Trianon. The floor plan of Versailles is available at 720plan.ovh.net/~jardinsd/Chateau/Appt-2/Pages/00-PlanRdC.htm  and it's an interactive one, so you can sit and click and discover all the salons for hours. But it's the one of Petit Trianon (below) that I really love. {via architectdesign.blogspot.com/2008/12/petit-trianon.html}

I love floor plans so much, I even have some of the famous Floor Plan dinnerware from Fishs Eddys in New York. Every time I'm near this fabulous store, which is just down from the Flatiron building, I pop in and buy another platter. (I can't bring an entire set back on the plane, so I have to collect the set, piece by piece. You can't imagine how difficult it is squeezing an enormous platter into your Kate Spade handbag...)