The Lost Art of Being Nice

Do you ever stop and wonder if graciousness and kindness and good manners have fallen by the twenty-twelve wayside? Do you ever hear about Internet trolls, or bloggers who bitch behind people's backs, or women who aren't kind to other women and think: What must they be like? (I always wonder if they're unhappy and unfulfilled. Happy, content people don't enrol in the Troll School of Terrible Behaviour.) And do you ever find yourself losing your own manners, and thinking: Oh no, the modern world's is getting to me too!

I have. Until earlier this year, that is. Earlier this year I said: Enough is enough.

The catalyst for this was a B&B I stayed in at the end of our US trip in May, which was truly terrible. I saw not only some of the worst service I've ever experienced but also some of the worst behaviour I've ever seen in people. (Especially B&B owners.)  Horrified, I checked into the Gramercy Park Hotel instead, which was like walking into a New York version of Heaven in comparison. Truly. I thought I'd crossed the Pearly Gates. The staff at Gramercy Park are famous for being some of the nicest hotel people in the world, and it showed. When I asked the doorman how they all coped with difficult guests – the VIPs and the celebrities and the cranky ones from nowhere – he simply smiled and said: "We win them over with kindness."

Don't you think that's lovely?

(NB The B&B refunded my money, all $700 of it.)

Here's another story. I was at the airport early this morning. My mother, who is the fittest person I know, came off an international flight in a wheelchair, an upsetting sight if ever there was one. She was dumped at the Arrivals Hall and the wheelchair was whisked away. Needless to say, we were all terribly upset. The elderly woman sitting next to her, who looked like she didn't have two cents to rub together, started crying at our predicament. After we'd finally found another wheelchair to take my mother to the carpark in, the woman graciously offered a hand. With tears in her eyes, she held the chair stable, and as we walked off, gave me a little wave, as if to say: Everything's going to be okay. It really made my day.

So this is my proposal to everyone who reads this blog. Be inspiring to someone today. Offer a hand. Be kind. Show you care. Don't bitch or moan but just be nice. I suspect most of you do anyway, but I just thought I'd reinforce the philosophy.

I try and inspire everyone I meet. I know my manners fall down (I still have dozens of emails to return), but I always try and do the right thing. Because it does come back to you eventually.

I once interviewed Heather Small of M People, whose song 'Proud' was such a significant part of the pre-Olympics' media. ("What have you done today to make you feel proud?") She confessed, in a rare show of pain, that she had felt depressed and even suicidal, for some time. This was Heather Small, one of the greatest singers of the Nineties. I always regretted that I didn't stop the interview and give her a hug, that I didn't show some compassion, anything, even a note afterwards telling her she was just so damn fine!

So this is my encouragement to everyone. Inspire someone today. Or tomorrow. Or next week. Whenever you do, know this: it will mean a lot to them.

Go on. What have you done today to make you feel proud?

PS Heather, you are magnificent. Don't ever forget that.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEoxGJ79PMs   ( link )

 ~

"I suppose the thing I most would have liked to have known or been reassured about is that in the world, what counts more than talent, what counts more than energy or concentration or commitment, or anything else - is kindness. And the more in the world that you encounter kindness and cheerfulness - which is its kind of amiable uncle or aunt - the better the world always is. And all the big words: virtue, justice, truth - are dwarfed by the greatness of kindness." ~ Stephen Fry

 ~

Classic Photo Shoots: Chanel, LV, Lilly and Ralph

There are some photo shoots that you remember long after the advertising campaigns they were in have come and gone. These are the shoots that mix fashion with whimsy and humour, and style with sassiness and cute street scenes. They're the shoots that Grace Coddington could have directed, with Rodney Smith standing behind the camera. They're the shoots that show a life we often wished we led.  Here are some extraordinary photo shoots that stand out from the rest.

I have featured some of these before, almost a year ago, but I hope you'll forgive me. It's 5am and I'm off to pick up my parents from the airport. My mother has had a bad accident in Hanoi and is being repatriated back to Australia. She's an extraordinary woman, and I'm quietly upset to think that she's had to end a lifetime of intrepid travel and adventure like this. If you haven't hugged your mother this morning, or this week, do think about it. Tell them how wonderful they are. Tell them you love them.

In the meantime, he is some inspiration from another brilliant mum – the immensely talented Kate Spade.

Kate Spade's photo shoot for the Fall/Winter 2009/2010 and other incredibly creative and memorable ad campaigns over the years. The balloon with the polka dots was an inspired idea. The company was certainly a leader in marketing until the Spades sold it and a little of the magic and talent was sadly lost. (Top image is also from a Kate Spade photo shoot.)

Lilly Pulitzer. The queen of bright colour, bold patterns and cheeky wit.

A photo shoot for the Chanel ad campaign for S/S 2011. Love the flirty pink dress, the setting and the delicacy of the table set for high tea. This ad was a change for Chanel. Normally Karl likes his ads darker, moodier, more Gothic in tone

A Chanel ad campaign from 1958. © Lillian Bassman: Anne-Saint Marie, NY. {Image via theculturalist.com}

A photo shoot by GANT, shot by Michael Bastion, for ad campaign for the S/S 2011 collection. GANT never fail to do fabulous ads. I always try and grab a copy of the GANT magazine whenever I'm near one of the stores. They're full of inspiring photography and great articles. It's marketing dressed up as a magazine.

One of the photo shoots for Louis Vuitton’s spectacular celebrity-focused ad campaign. This one features filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola and his daughter Sofia sitting in the sun-kissed countryside of Buenos Aires. The image was shot by Annie Leibovitz. The Louis Vuitton bag is almost overshadowed by this father-and-daughter duo. I'm not sure why Annie Leibovitz and Louis Vuitton took them to Argentina? To me, the Coppolas are always associated with the Napa Valley and Paris, where they have a second home. I think LV should have shot them in Paris or Napa. But that's just my humble little opinion. And what would I know, compared to LV's chiefs?!

Ralph Lauren always shoots great ad campaigns. The 2001 ad campaign with Penelope Cruz was spectacularly glamorous. The collage was an inside front cover for Town and Country magazine. Such a beautiful collage of glamorous images. It doesn't even looked staged, thanks to the delightfully haphazard way the images have been placed in the design. It looks more like Penelope's summer photo album.

The Colours of Summer

Here in Australia, we're eagerly awaiting for the buds of spring to bloom, after a seemingly long, cold and unseasonally wet winter. Impatient for some floral gorgeousness, I'm heading to Floriade in Canberra next week to catch the biggest flower festival in Australia, which is on at this time every year. It's my first time at Floriade, and this year's theme is 'Style and Design' so it's sure to be beautiful. The festival is free, so if you can, do make the trip to Canberra to wander among the spectacular garden designs and scented flowerbeds. It's on for four weeks, so you have time to plan. (There are day trips from Sydney for very cheap –$39, I think?)

In the meantime, here's another post on my favourite colours of the moment. I suspect they'll be big for the summer.

Floride Flower Festival, Canberra. 

An annual celebration of horticulture that attracts half a million people. Doesn't it look like one big fabulous fragrance fest?

A Painted Paen To Blue and Green

Susan Brown, whose works I love, is another fan of green and blue. Here are two of her paintings, entitled 'Blue Green Water' and 'Blue Green Water 2'.'

In The Swim

Another piece of beautiful art, called 'The Swimmer', which was featured in the film Something's Gotta Give. (Jack Nicholson had a big hand in the selection of art for this film. Who knew he had such an eye?)

Classic Paris

One of the prettiest places to stay in Paris is the Hotel Sorbonne. It's the sister (brother?) hotel to the Pantheon Hotel, and just as sophisticated.

Scarf Art

A vintage Hermes scarf, spotted on eBay.

Stepping Out In Style

Ralph Lauren's summery offerings from a recent collection.

Privacy, Please

Kate Moss, in a spectacular Vogue photo shoot at The Ritzz in Paris before the hotel closed last month for a two-year refurbishment. (Via Vogue)

Chanel With A Twist

An elegant Chanel 2.55 bag, in blue and green hues. Love this.

Chanel At Versailles

Chanel's Cruise Collection 2013 show, which was staged at Versailles against a theatrical backdrop of blue and green pavillions.

Deck Delectable

Interior design (or should that be deck design?) by my friend, the gorgeous Jane Coslick, as featured in Savannah magazine.

A Study In Green

The writer AN Wilson's study, as featured in Ben Pentreath's new book on English decoration. (Just published.)

I'll Have The Entree, And The Apron, Thanks

The uniform of the lovely Whitehall restaurant in New York's West Village. Doesn't this look smart? Almost like a cross between an old-fashioned butcher's outfit and a chic barman's get-up.

Artistic Licence

Not sure of source, but love this room. It looks like it belongs to an artist.

Cocktails At Five (Or Anytime, Really)

A coolly glamorous space by the Toronto Interior Design Group. That tufted sofa in powder blue is so beautiful.

Sitting Room Chic

A more subtle take on blue and green, as featured in House Beautiful.

Cafe Kitchen

Not quite green and blue, but still beautiful. The powder blue of the chairs and settee are so unusual. Via House Beautiful.

Sitting Pretty

A design from Firmdale Hotels featuring the fabric of Christopher Farr.  I've seen this fabric a lot now but still love it.

A Gallery To Chinoiserie

(Source unknown)

Outdoor Delights

(Source unknown)

Chaise For Two

Interior design by Eileen Kathryn Boyd. I really love this room.

Lit Chic: Part 2 – Lit Wits

Need an inspirational theme for your next soirée? Take a page from the lit wits, who are leading the way with book-lined parties. It's the hottest thing in entertaining at the moment – or should that be the wittiest thing? If you love books and want to incorporate them into your next dinner party or 'do', begin with some of the beautiful ideas on sites such as pinterest.com/randomhouse/literary-wedding and other bookish sources.

Here are a few of my favourite pix from the Random House Pinterest page, including this (above) - a catalogue of guest seating cards. {Detailed sources from each individual image on this site. NB If I have featured your photos and you would like to be credited here as well as on Random House's Pinterest, please do just let me know,}

The Photo For The Wedding Invitation

I think this image may have originally come from Brides magazine but it's now turning up on a lot of sites. I love this. It could also be a wedding photo.

The Photo of the Dress

Needs no introduction, really. Nor even a foreword.

 The Cake

Seems a shame to slice into it.

The Manicure

Might be going a bit far, but still cute.

And if you're a book lover AND a film lover, you may like to see a new film that's being released next month (it's just been released in the States), called The Words. It stars an impressive cast, including Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Irons and Dennis Quaid, and is being billed as a "layered romantic drama". I suspect it's more than that. It may not be Henry James but I suspect it's a lot more than Fifty Shades of Grey.

The story follows young writer Rory Jansen (Mr Cooper, as brooding as always) who's a struggling writer with aspirations to be the next great literary voice. When he discovers a lost manuscript in a weathered attaché case that he and his wife found in a shop in Paris on their honeymoon, he realizes he possesses an extraordinary book. It's just a shame he didn't write it. After much thought (okay a fleeting moment of guilt), Rory decides to pass the work off as his own. He is soon a literary superstar. However, he soon learns that the words are only the beginning. The trailers look great - here www.thewordsmovie.com

On another note (or page), I was saddened to read on the weekend that writer Bryce Courtenay only has a few months to live. Whatever you think of his books, he is a magnificent writer. Even his off-hand quotes are ridiculously brilliant. I’ll always remember a fantastic line he spouted when he was asked whether he ‘embellished’ the truth.

“Do I exaggerate? You bet I exaggerate! I take a fact, put a top hat on it, a silk shirt and a bow tie and striped trousers and a tail coat and a pair of tap shoes and I do a Fred Astaire with a fact. But I don't ruin the fact. I never ruin the fact. I'm just giving it life.”

Courtenay also said: "Writing a book is never easy. It takes guts, patience and a huge amount of self-discipline to succeed." Courtenay has written 22. Can you imagine how many hours it would have taken, sitting in a room alone, to produce that much work? The man needs an award just for his Hemingwayesque productivity.

Someone else who is staring at his last words is Clive James. Mr James has also announced that he is fighting the Grim Reaper, who wants to make him pay for his excessive and indulgent life of drinking, smoking and eating quality nosh – and lots of it – at top London restaurants.

I have had the extraordinary luck to have met and interviewed James on two occasions. He was the most delightful, convivial, self-deprecating, fiercely witty and fantastically humorous man I've ever met. He didn't just answer your questions with a Kingsley Amis-style sneer and then stare around the room for something better to entertain him. He truly engaged with you, person to person, with spark, warmth, interest and genuine friendliness. He didn't need – or deserve – the horrific publicity that A Current Affair gave him earlier this year.

Did you read the (more pleasing) article about him in The Weekend Australian Magazine recently? I loved the quote by Martin Amis. Amis said that Clive, when asked how he'd like his steak, always replied "Knock off its horns and wipe its arse!" Only Clive James could get away with that.

But he is more than the classic Aussie wit with a dry bite and a sense of humour from left field. He is also a great writer. One of James' critics, the Oxford academic Peter Conrad, now regrets giving him a bad review and says "As an essayist, he is up there with Hazlitt, Wilde, Chesterton and co."

According to The Weekend Australian Magazine, Clive James is fighting for his life. But he has sold his Cambridge house to move closer to his London doctors. When the Australian's journalist, Bryan Appleyard, visited him for the story, the only things left were a single Sidney Nolan painting and piles of books on the floor. "I couldn't bring myself to sell them," confessed James.

Oh Clive, how we shall miss you.


PS Apologies for my absence on this blog. I, too, am holed up in self-imposed isolation writing several books. If I haven't yet emailed you, I am so very sorry, and promise to reply soon. Please wait for me: I shall send a personal reply to each and every one who has kindly written very shortly. I also promise that the itinerary for the The Grand Botanical Tour will be up this week! Can't wait to see you all next May. It will be such a lovely trip! xx